Persona 4

PS2

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Let's be honest, Persona 3 is a hell of a hard act to follow. Great gameplay, a fantastic story, and an ending that could make a sufferer of Bell's Balsy weep like a Japanophile being told their Holy Land ain't all its cracked up to be. To those unfamiliar with the series it belonged to (which was just about everyone at the time) it came out of nowhere, grabbed everyone's attention and became everyone's new favourite series. Critical acclaim, the endless appreciation of fans everywhere... yeah, a hard act to follow by anyone's estimation.

Persona 4 opens in much the same way the last game did: new student transfers to a new town and school, wackiness occurs. Yeah, it's a cliche, but it's a classic, and it works, so we'll let it slide. Our hero (who, for the sake of this review, we'll refer to as Jotaro Tenryu) quickly makes new friends, who tell him about a local urban legend. It's said that if you try watching a TV that's been switched off on a rainy night, you can see something: another reality, your true love, whatever, the reports vary depending on who you ask. So, bored one night, Jotaro tries it out. And finds that he can not only see something, but he can also physically enter the TV itself. The group, disbelieving at first, start to wonder if it has anything to do with the recent spate of murders in the formerly quiet town. And then, one of them goes missing, soon appearing on the Midnight Channel.

Persona 3, while a fantastic game, was not a game without its problems, primarily in the realm of combat. Having your teammates act for themselves, while a nice idea, often proved more trouble than it was worth. While you still have the option of letting them do their own thing, most people will head straight for direct control and never look back. The damage types have been pared down as well, presumably to make things less confusing: now, there's only one type of physical damage, as opposed to three, and the main character can only equip swords, rather than whatever the hell he wants.

Outside of battle, the music has been given a major overhaul. Fans of the original will be pleased to find that themes no longer restart from scratch every time you enter a new area, praise be to Philemon. The world map theme also changes depending on the weather, so you're not stuck listening to the same piece of music for months on end, another welcome change. The main battle theme, Reach Out To The Truth, isn't quite as catchy as Mass Destruction, but it does the job well.

The dungeons have been given a major overhaul as well. Now, every dungeon not only has a distinct look, it has its own music too! Each area ties in to the person lying at the heart of it. So a shut-in game-freak's dungeon is styled after an 8-bit RPG, the girl missing her deceased mother has hers looking like a storybook version of Heaven, the guy struggling with his sexuality has a very suggestive screamingly gay bathhouse, and so on. An infinite upgrade from the atrociously bland dungeon(s) of the last game.

So then, The Big Question: is it a better game than Persona 3? In sheer gameplay terms, yes. Developers, take note: when designing a sequel, this is how things should be done. All the rough edges have been smoothed off, virtually every problem I had has been fixed or improved, and the whole thing has been tuned to perfection. This is everything I had hoped for in the last game, and it's a testament to Atlus that they've delivered in spades. Outside of the gameplay, however...

It's ironic in a way. P3 had a great story, but the gameplay was lacking. And now, here comes its sequel with the exact opposite problems. They've managed to avoid the trap of having identical characters, thankfully. Yosuke is kinda similar to Junpei, in that they're both your buddy and co-pilot for the game, but in terms of personality, they're fairly different. Same goes for Yukiko, who outwardly resembles Mitsuru from the last game, though she's a lot friendlier than Mitsuru ever was. The problem comes with their social links. Every party member has them, and raising them gives them extra abilities in combat, such as being able to knock you out of harm's way when low on health, or being able to stand up again after taking a fatal wound in battle. Fair enough, except this is the only way to unlock their ultimate Persona. Honestly, I preferred it when it was part of the story. Seeing Akihiko's determination to live up to his friend's memory, or Junpei laying the smackdown on Strega with his upgrade gave you a real feeling of pride in your characters. Here, it feels more arbitrary. "Oh, well done, you've maxed me out, have a cookie and a Suzuka Gongen."

Then there's the music. It starts off strong, sunny day theme Your Affection quickly becoming one of my favourite pieces of music in the game. The first couple of dungeon themes are also good, the music for Yukiko's Castle being a standout piece. But as it progresses, the music becomes more and more lackluster. The last couple of dungeons are quiet, sedate pieces when you should be gearing up for a major no-holds barred fight. The final boss theme aims for symphonic fierceness and falls waaay shy of the mark, landing squarely in hum-drum mediocrity. The call back to the battle theme is nice, but not what I was looking for. Honestly, this is probably the first final boss theme I've encountered in a Megaten game that's outright sucked. 'Disappointing' is not the word.

On a related note, the cast has fewer duds in it than P3 did. The voice actresses for Fuuka and Ken were almost universally derided, but here, even the worst voice is tolerable. Kanji is probably the best on offer here, never once dipping below good, and his actor's delivery of lines is, on occasion, perfect, turning mere funny lines into outright hilarious ones. On the other hand, Naoto's is a poor choice. Massive spoilers that really aren't: Naoto's bag is that she's a girl pretending to be a boy. It works perfectly in the Japanese version, since her VA is known for playing gruff teenage boys like Edward Elric in Fullmetal Alchemist with the twist being that, for once, she's playing a girl. In the Western version, the second she opens her mouth, the illusion is shattered and you spend the next 20 hours wondering if your team is functionally retarded for not noticing that she's quite clearly a girl. The battle quotes are hilariously poor as well. They must've been recorded at the start, before most of the cast grew into their roles, because they're badly delivered ("Let us attack with all our strength" and "It's quite tenacious" being primary offenders) or just plain hilarious - Chie, dear, I love you to bits, but your wimpy little battlecry is abysmal. Seriously, stop it. And maybe it's more of a problem of translation, but they leave in all the honorifics like '-san' or 'senpai', and use them liberally, then have your cousin call you 'big bro' instead of 'onii-chan'. It's baffling why they'd do that, and it's jarring to boot.

And finally, we have the story. For the first 8/10ths of the story, it's fairly good. Great in places. Seeing your character actually get involved with events, rather than just standing there as things unfold around him is much more satisfying. You really feel like you have a part to play beyond pressing the X button to make the conversation move on. Some of the shenanigans you get up to are outright hilarious, such as the disastrous school festival and the camping trip, and draw you in more than the events in the last game. However, it's when you get to the end that things start to unravel.

Persona 3 was an epic story in the old sense of the word. You started out fighting monsters with friends and, before you knew it, you were locked in battle with an eldrich force that existed solely to obliterate all of mankind. You were rarely in any doubt as to what was at stake, and when the time came at the end, you knew damn well what would happen if you failed and were ready to give all as a result. Brilliant. Here, things start small with a serial killer offing people in the town when the fog rolls in. But Persona 4 never ups the ante much. When the fog covers the town permanently towards the end, you're expecting something big to come out of it, but it never really does. You're told there will be dire consequences, but, crucially, you're never shown what they are. And when you go to uncover the true mastermind at the end, it feels like an afterthought. One of the party outright states that you're doing this to give your character a good sendoff. Never mind that you've got a literal god taunting you (who's barely mentioned throughout the game, by the way), forget that a whole bunch of people have died as a result of all this, as long as Senpai gets a glorious final battle, everything else is just gravy. Tell me, did someone replace the cast with Klingons while I wasn't looking? What the hell, guys?! And the final bosses themselves are just so boring! Sure the final final boss looks great, but come on, we went through a fight last time where we battled our way through the Major Arcana of the tarot, then fought the god of death and her harbinger to a standstill! "Big spiky disco ball" and "Silent Hill reject" is a major step back by anyone's standards.

It's frustrating, really. For everything Persona 4 fixes or polishes, it creates another gaping flaw. When it should be increasing the pressure, it steps back and eases off on you. And when it should be telling you to gear up for a titanic struggle, it idly tosses a boss with no real difficulty behind it and tells you to busy yourself. I can understand why they'd want to scale things down after the last game - after all, when you've tangled with the embodiment of mankind's despair, how exactly do you top that - but that doesn't mean they can't make the current threat appear every bit as real as the last one. Just because the scope is reduced, that doesn't mean the danger should be too. Ironically, Persona 4 falls into exactly the same category as Devil May Cry 4: both are games that are great in their own right, both have the bad luck of being follow-ups to leaders in their field, both are kept from greatness by major problems. If we could meld Persona 3's storyline with Persona 4's gameplay, (and maybe DDS' or Maken Shao's OSTs, since I'm bored with the J-Pop by now) I have little doubt you'd have one of the single finest RPGs of all time. I still haven't lost faith in the series, not by a long shot, and it'll take more than a lousy final 5th of a game to do that. Still, here's hoping the inevitable Persona 5 will finally bring to fruition everything the games have promised thus far.

Project Antivent - Day Twenty Five

And so, we come to the last day of Antivent. I'll keep this brief, since you've all probably got food that needs eating and whatnot.

Our last theme comes from The World Ends With You. I won't lie, this is not only my favourite game on the DS, it's also one of the best games I've played in the last decade. The gameplay is fantastic, the soundtrack, sublime and the story compelling as all hell. I was addicted to the game for about a week solid and the final boss battle was the crowning moment for me.

Today's final theme, Twister Remix, comes from that battle. In a game with an exemplary OST, it takes something special to stand out from the crowd. If you ask me, Twister Remix has that in spades. Enjoy.



And finally, because it wouldn't be Christmas without gifts, we present you with everything we've covered here (minus Breaking The Girl because that could land me in a buttload of trouble. Don't worry though, you'll like the alternative). Download merrily and have fun, people.

Antivent Pack 1
Antivent Pack 2

Project Antivent - Day Twenty Four

Time for something very different today. I know I said at the start I said I was keeping this to one series/one song, and yes, this is from a Final Fantasy game, but bear with me, my reasoning is just.

Dancing Mad was originally the final boss theme from Final Fantasy VI, probably my favourite of the series. In its original form, the track was great, but sadly it hasn't quite aged as well as others. You should probably listen to it before we go any further. Go ahead, I'll be waiting here.

Heard it? Great.

Hellion Sounds is a group that covers game music. Yes, another one. But rather than doing a straight up cover, they take the general spirit of the music and embellish it til it doesn't just shine, it radiates with the brightness of a sun. They take the original music and turn a good song into something beyond special. Words honestly can't do this one justice. Just click for yourself and see what I mean.

Project Antivent - Day Twenty Three

Dynasty Warriors! A game that is to hystorical accuracy what orbital bombardment with nuclear weapons is to subtlety. They never had electric guitars back in feudal China. Their loss, since heavy guitars, as we've proven oh so many times this month, makes anything that little bit cooler. Today's offering is from the 5th game in the series, and probably my favourite piece of music from any of them: Great Red Spirit.

Project Antivent - Day Twenty Two

Okay, bear with me, because this one's a little weird. The Guilty Gear games have always been known for their hard-rocking soundtracks. Unsurprising, considering the number of musical references in the game. These soundtracks have always been highly acclaimed and are generally seen as some of the better fighting game OSTs. However, when Guilty Gear XX #Reload was released in Korea, they saw fit to give it a completely new soundtrack, the music being provided by a band called N.EX.T. The end result? A selection of music every bit the equal of the originals, arguably surpassing them on many points, and the single greatest character select theme in the form of today's track, Redemption. Crank this one up: if the walls aren't shaking, you're doing it wrong!

Project Antivent - Day Twenty One

Baroque was yet another game I reviewed earlier this year, and it holds the distinction of being one of the darkest non-Shin Megami Tensei-related RPGs I've ever played. Not that the intro doesn't clue you in to that: it starts with a Rorschach test turned cancerous, ends with a bloodstain turning becoming an portentous geometric symbol, and in-between, takes every opportunity to flash ominous text and worrying smiles at the viewer. Meanwhile, the title theme is the charmingly named Sinful Eyes. No, this isn't a cheerful game at all, is it.

It also gives away at least one major plot twist if you know what you're looking for, but, like every character here, in a way, that's neither here nor there.

Project Antivent - Day Twenty

There's a thin line between challenge and frustration. Knowing that you died because you fucked up, as opposed to a cheap shot is, simultaneously irritating and gratifying - yeah, you died, but at least you can improve. If any game personified this line, it would be God Hand, hated and adored in equal measure for its almost crushing difficulty. If you 'got' it, it was a stupidly fun OTT beat-em-up, a modern-day relic of a simpler era. If you didn't, it was too hard, the graphics were shit and too stupid to bother with (see: the feckless idiots at IGN.)

Aside from it's difficulty, the other thing it's famed for is its sense of humour. Almost nothing is taken seriously, and in an age of generic bald space marines who take everything super serial, that's only a good thing. Its developers, Clover, died after releasing a scant four games, each and every one a burst of colour and life in a brown and grey world.

Today's offering is the closing theme from God Hand. If you've never played it, this is a great example of what to expect. If you have, you'll probably know the words by heart.

Project Antivent - Day Nineteen

If I could say any single game changed my life, it would be Secret of Mana. This was the game that kickstarted my love of RPGs in general, and probably the single best game on the SNES for my money. I still remember the day I got it, taking it home, switching it on and hearing this, the opening theme. At the time, aged 13, it was the most amazing piece of music I had ever heard in my life. Now... even now, it's still a front-runner.

Honestly, I don't have the words. See for yourself.

Project Antivent - Day Eighteen

The Dark Spire was a DS game released this year aimed almost solely at the old school market. And by 'old school' I mean 'so old, they refer to single-celled lifeforms as newbies'. Probably the most harder-than-hardcore dungeon crawler I've played since Nethack, The Dark Spire, unsurprisingly, failed to catch on almost anywhere. Which is a shame, since it has an absolutely fantastic soundtrack that demands a wider audience. That the game itself is fun (if obtuse as all hell) is a bonus, really. This is the more sedate Shop theme, a counterpoint of sorts to the standard battle theme, and probably the single most relaxing piece of music in this list.

Project Antivent - Day Seventeen

Doing things slightly different again today. The Protomen are a Canadian group currently working on a three-part rock opera based on... Megaman. The first part, Hope Rides Alone came out in 2005, with the second, The Father Of Death following this year. You'd think it'd be difficult to adapt the story of the original Megaman games, what with them being so complex and sprawling, and damn near impossible to make it worth listening to on its own merits, but in my opinion, they've succeeded admirably.

This is the title track and opening song off their first album, chronicling the rise and fall of 'the first son of Doctor Light': Protoman. Trust me on this one: it just gets better from here.

Project Antivent - Day Sixteen

I'm one of those weird folks who plays old games as often as they play new ones. You've probably heard of us. Maybe even crossed the street to avoid us. Castlevania 4 (A.K.A. Super Castlevania) is one I get regular mileage out of, arguably the best of the classic Castlevanias (and in my opinion, one of the best in the series, even if you include the Metroidvania games). Today's track is the game's update of Simon's Theme, a mainstay of the early games. It's hard to see it now, but its 16-bit upgrade was a major deal back then, offering the programmers an opportunity to push their soundtracks to heights they hadn't been able to reach til then. Coincidentally enough, that was also the point game soundtracks started to be regularly released on CD. Funny that.

Project Antivent - Day Fifteen

Okay, not strictly in keeping with the theme of these videos, but it's my list so shut up.

Everyone has at least one song on Guitar Hero or Rock Band that they like to play simply to show off: that one song that you can 100% with ease. This one would be mine.

(I do vocals in case you're wondering)

This video doesn't involve me, before anyone asks, but it's surprisingly hard to find decent quality vids of this song which are also worth watching, so much kudos to the folks involved.

Project Antivent - Day Fourteen

Bionic Commando: Rearmed was really more of an extended advert for the reboot game that came a few months after its release. However, irony of ironies, it not only proved to be more popular than its big brother, it was also a hell of a lot more fun. A remake of the 2D classic, it was a real labour of love, from the references to the original, to the music, which was largely updates of music from the earlier version. There's very little on the soundtrack that isn't worth listening to, but this, the theme to the last couple of stages, sits head and shoulders above the rest.

Project Antivent - Day Thirteen

Earthbound has a reputation that precedes it by several light years or more. It's funny, it's subversive, it's creepy and twisted in a way that you can't quite pin down. If you know anything about the game at all, it'll no doubt be about how the final boss, Giygas, is the very personification of mind rape. Literally, since it was based on a traumatic experience the writer/director had as a young boy when he walked into the wrong cinema.

Today's track, as you've probably guessed, is the final boss theme from the game, and it's... well, it's probably a little different from what you'd expect from such a game. Then again, Earthbound's a little different from what you'd expect for an RPG, let alone a SNES game.




What's that you say? Still not traumatized enough? Made of sterner stuff than that, huh? Well then. Look upon the true face of madness, and know suffering, mortal! You cannot comprehend the true form of... Ronald McDonald?!

Project Antivent - Day Twelve

Something a little different today. Bands covering game music are nothing new anymore, let's be honest. It's getting to be a played out formula: grab some random game from the NES (because it's always the NES, no one ever had a Master System back then), throw in some guitars and let nostalgia take care of the rest. Simple.

Okay, that's perhaps a little too cynical, but there's very few bands who actually bother to do anything more than a straight cover. In Japan, they cheerfully fold, spindle and mutilate the originals til they bear only a passing resemblance to their parents. Over here in the West... not so much. The Adventures of Duane and BrandO, however, were something of an exception. If you know anything about them, it'll probably be their version of the various Mega Man 2 tracks. Rather than the typical cover shenanigans we're used to, they would rap over the music, telling the story of the game they were covering in a roundabout sort of way. I use the past tense, because they split messily earlier this year. They're both continuing to do their own thing but it's pretty much agreed that it just won't be the same.

This here's their version of Duck Hunt. And yes, the dog gets it. You're welcome.

Project Antivent - Day Eleven

I know I give Final Fantasy a hard time: the games, the endless remakes, the character designs in recent years, the fact that Square Enix are physically incapable of going more than 3 months without releasing or announcing a new game in the series, it's all fair game as far as I'm concerned. It used to be that a new Final Fantasy game was an Event, something to get excited over. Now, you'd be as well getting excited over it being Tuesday.

That said, the one department Square has never once dropped the ball in, is the music. Say what you will about the legions of androgynous girlymen, When it comes to the music, Square has never once lost its teeth. Crisis Core, while exemplifying many of the problems I have with current-day Square Enix, also had a solid OST, featuring a mix of redone themes from FFVII and Advent Children, as well as a variety of original work. This track, The Summoned, is a redux of the classic FFVII boss theme, arguably as it should always have been. If this doesn't get the blood fired up, nothing will.

Project Antivent - Day Ten

Rez is another game I reviewed this year, which proved itself to be more than the sum of its samples. While the in-game music basically consists of various samples that are eventually combined to make the full song, the alum, Gamer's Guide To, takes all the samples and mixes them properly to create a fully-finished song. It's different from what you get in-game, but no less listenable for it.

This time around, we've got the first stage music, Buggie Running Beeps. As I said back then, even if you don't dig dance music, give it a shot, it's still fantastic stuff.

Project Antivent - Day Nine

No More Heroes was very much like Devil May Cry 3 in that a lot of the soundtrack was variations or remixes of a central theme. Here, however, it was taken a step further, where it seems like virtually every track in the game features the same central section, heard here at the 'chorus'. The soundtrack was composed by Masafumi Takada, who's best known for his work with Suda51 on killer7, and while it arguably lacks the variation of the previous game, due to the insistence of adhering to the same themes, that doesn't make it any less listenable.

Again, we avoid going for the obvious shot, everyone and their grandmother having heard Pleather For Breakfast a billion times by now. Instead, we bring Ten Tons of Titanium to the table. And no, it's not just you, yes, it does sound familiar, and yes, it is deliberate.

Project Antivent - Day Eight

System Shock 2 was one of those games no one really liked until everyone decided they did. Upon its original release, it received rave reviews, then promptly sunk without a trace. Then Bioshock came out, was a big hit and everyone decided to see what they'd been missing in the meanwhile (and promptly questioned why Bioshock wasn't as detailed or in-depth as its ancestor). Still, better late than never, unless you're a former member of developers Looking Glass Studios who, sadly, folded soon after.

Despite being, essentially, a survival horror game, albeit one played from a first-person perspective, Looking Glass decided not to go for the standard 'soundtrack made of creepy noises' approach, and instead went with something a little different. The OST consists primarily of a mix of dance, drum and bass and electronica, and this difference makes it stand out in a field of me-toos in the wake of Silent Hill, a game that showed everyone how grinding metal and chugging noises should be done - lessons that pretty much everyone ignored or didn't quite get thereafter. Ops 2 is a great example of this approach - in game it accentuates the feelings of loneliness and isolation you'll experience. Out of the game, it becomes a stand-out track from a stand-out OST.

Project Antivent - Day Seven

Something a little different now, since this list isn't all loud and angry combat themes (just most of it). Hometown is the ending theme from Silent Hill 3. It's basically a re-imagining of the opening theme from the original Silent Hill as sung by Joe Romsera. I could've gone the easy route and thrown up You're Not Here, or any one of a thousand pieces of music from SH2, but that would've been obvious, and in case it's escaped yout attention, obvious is not how we do things around here! In any case, I found Hometown hideously cheesy at first, and frankly, still do. But it's grown on me over the years, and even though I cheerfully take the piss out of it while singing along, its still one of my favourite songs from the game, and the series as a whole.

Moon

93 minutes

Winner of the 2009 award for Best Use of Chesney Hawkes in a Movie


I've said before that some of the best films, games, whatever, are the ones that come out of nowhere. The ones that have no real hype or build-up about them. Unsurprisingly, I've always had a fondness for them, since, as we all know, I'm one of those freaks who likes to (and occasionally has to) wander off the beaten track for his entertainment. I hadn't actually heard of this film until I read a glowing review of it in Bizarre (still the only major review of the movie I've personally encountered), and while the magazine's gone downhill of late, it's entertainment reviews are still usually on the money, so I decided to check it out for myself.

Sam Rockwell plays Sam Bell, a miner on the far side of the moon. Sam lives and works alone with GERTY, a robot programmed to observe him and keep an eye on his general well-being. Sam starts having weird lapses, seeing things on monitors, having visions of other people. While out investigating a problem with one of the mining harvesters, he suffers a crash. He awakens some time later back on the base, but is under strict instructions not to leave again. Faking a malfunction in the base, he manages to escape anyway and returns back to the site of the crash. His old lunar rover is still there. More to the point, so is he.

At first, you'd be forgiven for expecting a movie in the vein of Fight Club or The Machinist. You begin thinking it's going to be the tale of a space miner dealing with cabin fever or something like that, before pulling a bait and switch with the second Sam. It's a sneaky move that keeps you guessing past your original conceptions of what the movie is going to be about. To talk any more about the plot would be giving the game away completely, but trust me on this, it's a good one.

Similarly, Sam Rockwell is nothing short of amazing here. Yes, the film is basically Sam Rockwell talking to himself for an hour and a half, but if he wasn't any good, the film wouldn't be anywhere near worth watching. The two Sams manage to have differing personalities, despite being fundamentally the same person. By the same token, Kevin Spacey manages to be weirdly sympathetic as GERTY, despite never raising his voice above a monotone.

Moon is a hard film to talk about, hence this spartan (for me, at least) review. That's mainly because discussing the really stand-out parts, or anything beyond the basic premise, for that matter, means spoiling it, and trust me, this is not a film you want spoiled for you. The other problem with movies like this is that they tend to be slow and ponderous, outstaying their welcome by a good 40 minutes in an attempt at making some vague statement about the nature of humanity. At a mere 90 minutes, however, this is a film that comes in, says its peace, then leaves without incident, and that's probably its greatest strength. It's exactly the right length, and no more, and doesn't try and milk all the emotion it can out of things. And probably for that single reason alone, it stands head and shoulders above all others in its class. Definitely keep an eye out for this film if you get the chance

Project Antivent - Day six

If you remember the worryingly glowing review of Prototype I did back in June, you'll recall me gushing over the tutorial stage, of all things. Set right at the end of the game, it gave you an opportunity to dick around with some of the powers you'd later get to play around with right off the bat as the world goes to hell around you. I described it as one of the best intros I'd ever played, and the music that accompanied your carnage added immensely to the overall feeling that this, as I said back then, was Armageddon in hi-def.

Six months on, and my feelings haven't changed a bit. This is still one of the best games of 2009 and this track, Memory In Death, is one of the best pieces of music in the game. If you still haven't played this yet, rectify that ASAP.

Project Antivent - Day Five

Time for something a wee bit older now. To anyone raised in the 16-bit era, the name Yuzo Koshiro is one that will likely cause a twang of nostalgia, the man being responsible for some of the best soundtracks on the Megadrive (or 'Genesis' if you prefer) and the SNES. Streets of Rage is probably his best known work, and while the second game is usually seen as the best of the series, I'll always prefer the original above all. For my money, the soundtrack to this one represents some of his finest work, and the boss theme, Attack of the Barbarian, stands head and shoulders above them all.

Project Antivent - Day Four

If truth be told, I could probably fill this entire list with the various remixes of Devils Never Cry from the DMC3 soundtrack – there's enough of them after all, and they're all pretty damn excellent. I decided to go for the Motion Capture Demo version, however, simply because there's something worth watching along with it. As you can probably guess, this features footage of the motion capture taken for the game, and it's well worth a look. Watching the acrobatics involved - much of it done by the game's voice cast, no less - is simply fascinating.

That the song's a great take on the main theme is only a bonus.

Project Antivent - Day Three

One of the challenges I set myself for this list was to limit myself to one piece of music from each game series – one piece of music from, say, Final Fantasy, one from Silent Hill and so on – to ensure a good mix of things. Otherwise I would probably wind up clogging the list up with music from the Shin Megami Tensei series and The World Ends With You and just call it a day. So, representing the entire MegaTen series is Hunting – Comrades from Digital Devil Saga. One of the best pieces of music in a game filled with them, DDS 1&2 have probably the best overall soundtracks in a series renown for its outstanding music. Shouji Meguro, you outdid yourself with this one.

Project Antivent - Day Two

Day two, and this time we have the main battle theme from Shadow Hearts: From The New World. The third game in the Shadow Hearts series has taken a lot of stick for being more slapstick and outright dumb compared to it's previous two incarnations. And, in fairness, they're absolutely right. But one thing that's harder to deny is the quality of its soundtrack, exemplified by Dead Fingers Talk, the main battle theme for the game. Say what you will about the rest of the game, but I will not hear a bad word said against this track.

Project Antivent - Day One

The Christmas season has just officially started (if you ignore the two or three month lead-up to it) and chances are, you're already sick of the deluge of carols and songs committing aggravated assault on your eardrums. Well, wouldn't you know it, I've got just the remedy for you! Probably.

Yes, from now until Xmas Day, we here at Overclocked on Caffeine are going to be listing an alternative to the usual crap piped endlessly, in the form of 25 of the best tracks from various games. Sort of a combination advent calender/antidote (hence: Antivent - s'good, innit?) to the Xmas Virus, but with a little extra at the end for those dumb brave enough to follow me all the way to the end.

We get off to a storming start with METHOD_REPLEKIA/ from the criminally unknown and under-appreciated Ar Tonelico 2. The game features characters who use songs to trigger and power their magic attacks, and the track in question is played whenever one of the main characters triggers their most powerful special attack. If ever a song stated clearly and explicitly “You are fucked” then it kicks in, it would be this one. And if that's not un-Chistmassy, I don't know what is.

Play it loud, folks!

The Suffering: The Ties That Bind

PS2

I'm stuck in Folsom prison, and time keeps draggin' on...

When the first game in the Suffering series was released, it was to critical indifference. It was seen as trying too hard to be dark and edgy, throwing in lots of blood, gore and random swearing simply because it could. This was a Mature game for Mature gamers - read: impressionable teenagers who still think saying 'fuck' is the epitome of cool. First impressions, however, are never anything short of deceptive. Actually play it, and you'll discover that, behind the swearing and the violence and the unrelenting darkness of it all, there's actually a good game behind it. Surprising considering the lengths it goes to to prove it's got a pair, but The Suffering actually had something to back up its posturing. The plot concerned Torque, prison for the murder of his wife and kids. He was being transferred to the brutal Abbot State Prison on Carnate Island, before an earthquake released all manner of evil monsters and freaks. Barely escaping, Torque made it to Baltimore, and is now hunting his old stomping grounds for a man known only as Blackmore.

One of the interesting things about plot of the original game was there were three different endings depending on how you played it. Along the way, there were people you could save or outright kill depending on your actions. Save people, and the story would reveal that you'd been framed for the murder of your family. Kill anyone and everyone and you'd be shown as an irredeemable monster. In the first game, all this would do is affect your ending. Here, it also acts as a sort of experience meter for your Insanity Mode, a sort of berserker mode in which you turn into a giant rampaging demon and rip everything around you a thousand new ones. It was somewhat gimped in the last game, since if you over-relied on it, you'd eventually trigger the third ending of the game, the Beast ending, which pretty much sucked if you were aiming for one of the other two. Here, it's been fleshed out properly. Depending on your alignment, you'll not only get a different form, but different attacks as well. And considering a whole class of enemies requires you to use it, it's probably a good thing.

Outside of that, the game does a lot of other things right. The voice acting is a cut above, with Michael Clarke Duncan doing his best Scary Black Man voice as Blackwood, the main antagonist, and Rachel Griffiths (Brenda from Six Feet Under) as Jordan. There's one or two bad spots, but by and large, the talent on show here is great. Unrelated, but also worthy of note, is the fact that you can switch out of first-person mode and into third person, something a lot more FPSes could stand to do. Considering the speed some enemies attack with, being able to see more around you will save your rear more than once.

Aside from that, the story is, once again, all over the place. You start off arriving in Baltimore, trying to find Blackmore. Then you're attacked by a group trying to capture you to work out how you do that transformation thing of yours (despite it being hinted at in the last game as a mental, rather than physical thing). Then you escape only to find that the entire city has been taken over by the monsters from Carnate, as well as the spirits of a pair of notorious murderers. Then you wind up in another prison, then sewers, then a mining complex, then everything gets a bit Twilight Zone and by that point, you've either stopped playing or caring. Dr. Killjoy, the mad 'experimental' psychiatrist from the first game also makes a return which I'm somewhat split over. On the one hand, his appearance in the first game added a sort of House On Haunted Hill vibe to the proceedings. Utterly out of place, but not necessarily in a bad way, since he was arguably about the only person in the game you could say had any kind of character to him. Here, on the other hand, its harder to argue that, since he barely has any impact on the story, unlike in the last game. He shows up on a TV screen, does a kind of summing up/trial of the player at the end then... well, doesn't do much else. Even worse, it's not until you get to the very end and you look back on both games that you realise that not a damn thing in the story makes a blind bit of sense, even for an action game, such is the scattershot application of the events and plot. Impressive in a perverse sort of way.

Of course, any and all goodwill the game's built up by this point will evaporate swiftly in the face of one small detail. The game glitches like you would not believe. No joke, this game is horribly programmed: I've had CPU-controlled characters refuse to move, blocking my path, falling through floors or failing to trigger the next section. I've had enemies refuse to activate at all, just standing there, seemingly taking no damage or even noticing me. I even had the game crash outright on me, twice! I honestly can't remember the last time I played a console game with such glaring bugs. On a PC, sure, you almost expect it, but on a console... And they all happened at more or less the exact same places with worrying regularity, which, frankly begs the question: did anyone even bother to playtest this game before release?

The original Suffering was a great game, far better than it had any real right to be. Not a classic by any measure, but not a game you'd regret spending time or money on either. The sequel, on the other hand, takes all of that and squanders it, somehow winding up with a worse game in the process. If the game had actually been coded properly, it would've merely been below average, but with the glitches and bugs present (including one which makes the game impossible to finish, should it kick in) there's no way to recommend this. And the ending is non-existent as well, but that should come as no surprise to absolutely anyone. Get the original, but woe betide anyone who goes looking for the sequel: all that awaits you is a litany of disappointment and NPCs glitching up to their knees in the floor.

The Best Game Ever (Pt.3)

Shin Megami Tensei

Super Nintendo - 1992

'Der Wille zur Macht' as a lifestyle choice

WARNING: The following review contains spoilers. Big ones. Continue at your own risk.

In case its escaped anyone's attention (there may be a few of you not really listening at the back there) I am a huge fan of the Shin Megami Tensei series ('Megaten' to those in the know) and all its various spinoffs, from Persona, to Digital Devil Saga and all the little forgotten ones along the way. Yes, even Maken X, a hideously flawed attempt at doing something different, both in the series and in the realm of the FPS. There are a few games I'll admit didn't grab me as much as others - Raidou Kuzunoha Vs. The Soulless Army just rubs me the wrong way for some reason, and the original Persona has some very questionable gameplay mechanics that were bizarrely kept for the PSP remake/update - but it's hard to say the franchise has ever had an outright bad game, something that I'd be hard-pressed to say about any of my other favourites.

The game opens with a dream. In it, our hero rescues two relative strangers, one from crucifixion, one from a demon, then meets a girl bathing in a pond, who says she's been waiting for you. Unfortunately, it's not that kind of a dream, and before sexytime can begin, you're awoken by your mother, telling you you've overslept.

It's the far-off, but indeterminate year of 199X, and the world is in a bad place. A general by the name of Goto has launched a coup d'etat and effectively taken over Japan, putting the country in a state of martial law. Meanwhile, the rest of the world, and in particular, America, is attempting to put an end to his game by any means necessary - even if it requires extreme measures. And as if that wasn't bad enough, there are increasing reports of demonic creatures running rampant and attacking anyone and everyone. The hero receives a program via email sent by someone called 'STEVEN' (yes, all in caps). He explains that he's afraid of the threat posed by these demons, and in response, has developed a program to control and summon them. He's sent this program to as many people as he can, in the hope that someone, anyone, can do something to stop the outright anarchy that's about to break loose on mankind. Of course, no one can possibly guess what's about to happen next...

Okay, let's get the bad stuff out the way first. Graphically, this game sucks. Everything is played from a first-person view, which, in theory, is great. However, the SNES doesn't really have the grunt to pull it off, the screen lazily flicking from one map tile to the next. The endless hallways that make up the game have little to distinguish them from each other, so getting lost is stupidly easy, even in the simplest of areas. There is an automap, but it's buried deep in several layers of menu, and the only way to get it onscreen while moving is to cast a spell only found on certain demons. And since this is one of the first incarnations of the demon fusion system, there's none of that fancy 'offspring gets the skills of the two parents' skill mixing seen in the later games. So, your choice is to either keep one demon on hand solely for that one skill (it runs out fairly swiftly as well, requiring constant recasting for extra giggles), or to just wing it, checking the map every so often to make sure you haven't taken that fatal left turn at Albuquerque.

Of course, that's not where the only problems lie. As mentioned, the controls are hideously clunky. If you want to do anything, you have to navigate through several menus. You're never told what difference armour will have on your character before you equip it. In demon negotiation, there's no clear indication that you're saying the right thing, and what works right one time may not work at all the next. And the only way to find out what a particular spell does is to use it, all of them carrying names like 'Bufula' or 'Dia' with no indication of what does what. Much, if not almost all of this was fixed in later updates (most recently the GBA port) but wouldn't you know it, it's only the SNES version that's available in English, thanks to those wonderful people over at Aeon Genesis. In short, this is a game created long before most of the RPG conventions we all now take for granted, and for the vast majority of you, that alone is likely to put you off. And that's before we get to the legendary difficulty.

Okay then, graphics are very early SNES standard, controls suck, and the game's harder than a punch with a granite boxing glove. Why bother playing it? Well, the short answer is that it's awesome. But you probably guessed as much by the fact that I'm discussing it under the 'Best Game Ever' tag. The more direct answer... now, that's a tricky one.

Back in the day all RPGs were exactly the same: there were castles and knights and you ran around with a sword and beat up evil wizards. Actually, when you boil it down, that still applies to a lot of RPGs even now - for all the innovation in gameplay and combat we still run through the same familiar stories. But back then, there was even less variation than we have now. Everything was, without exception, exactly the same. The exceptions were the two Megami Tensei games on the NES. Set in the modern day, it revolved around a high school student tinkering around with a computer program that accidentally opens a breach to the demonic realm, letting all manner of nastiness in. The sequel went a step further and was set in a world devastated by nuclear war. Utterly unheard of at the time, and while it didn't exactly set the world on fire, it did set the scene for its SNES-based older brother, and the series as a whole.

The game starts off in a recognisable modern-day metropolis - the Kichijoji area of Tokyo to be exact. Wandering around, you'll quickly come to the conclusion that something is very wrong here. People are disappearing, some turning up dead, torn to pieces, some not turning up at all. The Yakuza are operating openly, attacking anyone they feel like. And more and more people are talking about the oncoming threat of nuclear war. No, not a good place to be at all. It's while out doing errands for his mother that the player character eventually encounters a demon, as it rips the throat out of a poor bastard at the local shopping mall. Things only get weirder as he has another dream, saving a girl from a strange occult ritual, before meeting with one of the people from dream in real life. He soon discovers the bigger picture: Goto, the general, is in a secret war of sorts with the US ambassador, Thorman. Thorman represents a group trying to build the Thousand Year Kingdom in the name of God. They believe that mankind has gone astray, and that the slate needs to be wiped clean, Old Testament-style. Of course, if you talk to Thorman, he'll let you know that the demon attacks have actually been started by Goto himself, a side effect of him making bargains with dark forces in exchange for power. That, and he's also been kidnapping anyone who might be involved with the resistance and authorising inhumane experiments on innocent civilians. And it's here that you realise that the story is a lot darker than you ever suspected.

SMT has three possible paths to play through the game as: Law, Chaos and Neutrality. Law is under the purview of the Mesians, generally characterised as a church militant. They believe in order, following rules. At its extreme end, it's 'do what we say and follow our laws or we'll break you'. Directly opposite them is Chaos. Chaos is represented by the Gaians. Chaos believes in free will, taking whatever path you feel is the right one in the name of self-improvement. Its extreme is the survival of the fittest mantra, that the strong should be able to take and do whatever they want because no one can or has the right to stop them. And in the middle, there's the Neutral path. They're not directly represented by anyone ingame, unless the player actively chooses to do so. Being neutral, obviously, requires you to maintain a balance between the two, as going too far down one path or the other results in suffering. Of course, you're being pitted against both extremes on a regular basis, so that requires bloodshed on an even more regular basis.

One of the most fascinating things about the options, as you can see above, is that, when you boil it down, there are no straight-out "good guys" or "bad guys" in the game. Everyone is equally wrong or equally right in one way or another. Goto's responsible for locking down Japan and unleashing demons on the unsuspecting populace, but he's doing it in the name of freeing the world from the tyranny of the Mesians. Thorman's holding the threat of nuclear war over everyone's head, but it's to stop a dangerous general from dragging the world into disaster, as well as to bring everyone together under the same banner. And if you walk the path of Neutrality, trying to keep everything on the same even keel, well, that involves slaughtering anyone who even dares rock the boat one way or another.

Perhaps one of the biggest shocks in the game (and this is your last chance to back away: skip this next couple of paragraphs if you don't want it spoiled, and believe me, it's more effective if you've never played it) comes at the end of the first act. This is about 10 or so hours in on an average playthrough. You've finally listened to both Goto and Thorman, and, one way or the other, you've decided to make your choice: your mission now is to kill one or both of them. At this point, you might be expecting that after this, you're going to be sent out on missions to destabilize the various factions present. You could not be more wrong. Lets say you choose to side with Thorman. You go to Goto's headquarters and assassinate him. Upon your return, he thanks you for your loyal devotion to his cause... unfortunately, this world is too sinful to be kept as is. A new age must be ushered in on the ashes of the old. He reveals himself to be the Norse god Thor, and brings down his hammer in judgement of mankind - he launches his nuclear ICBMs on Tokyo. You're then presented with a hige red 30-second countdown on-screen as you desperately attempt to escape somewhere, anywhere, as you try and outrun nuclear destruction. You fail, but somehow find yourself transported to a realm outside of time and space.

Of course, even if you choose not to side with him, mankind is screwed, and he launches the missiles as a kind of last-minute 'fuck you' upon his defeat anyway. But, far from being an annoying 'But Thou Must' lack-of-choice, this is where the game really shows its teeth. One brief detour in limbo later, you arrive back on Earth. But it's a different world to the one you just left. Thirty years have passed since Thorman launched his missiles, and the destruction of the world has been near total. Mankind is only just starting to crawl out the wreckage, and now, somehow, you have to help it. Yup, not content with bringing the world to near-obliteration, the game now has you attempting to bring it back from the brink. You failed to save it in the past, but maybe you can do something here. To my mind, there's only one other game that has ever had the successful destruction of the world midway through, and that's Final Fantasy VI. Two games that actually have the balls to pull the rug out from under you and drop the hammer - literally, in this case - on the very thing you're striving to protect. It's a hell of a way of punching the player, and a sadly underused tactic in games. Of course, things can always get worse: remember that two of your party members - who are more than willing to give up their humanity for more power in one form or another - are known as the Law Hero and the Chaos Hero and that, one way or another, you're destined to fight at least one of them. All of this gives the game an unparalelled atmosphere. Suddenly, the graphics only add to the bleakness of the setting. The music too, gives you the feeling that you're walking through a dead world, just trying to survive long enough to avoid the next demon attack. Not an easy prospect considering the crushing difficulty here.

(it's okay, by the way, you can come back now)

Ever wonder why the Megaten series has a reputation for being the hardest RPG series around? Wonder no more! Yes, this is a game from the early days of RPGs, when concepts like 'balance' and 'fairness' were just seen as silly friviolities, so the challenge is to be expected. Somehow, the game actually manages to go beyond that, however, and winds up being outright sadistic. There's no instant game over if the main character dies, so that's one saving grace, but beyond that, everything is an uphill struggle. If you're even slightly underlevelled, you will be punished at great length, and opportunities to heal, or even save for that matter, are limited. Depending on your perspective, that's either a plus or a minus: you can't scrimp on the level grinding, but on the other hand, lots of people enjoy that. Same with the difficulty - it's generally agreed that games are getting easier all the time, so going back in time and playing something that bends you over, slaps you in the face and demands you call it 'Daddy' makes for a welcome change.

Believe me when I say that this really is a fantastic game. If you're new to the series, having gotten in through the anime-stylings of Persona 3&4, this is a huge step backwards. Tremendously so, since we're talking going back three or four console generations and 18 years here. This is not an easy game to get into, even for someone determined to crack its shell. I've made numerous attempts and replays across different PCs and machines. I'm now currently replaying it - again - on my PSP. I don't even want to think about what number attempt this is. But that alone should tell you something about the game: It's tough and it'll kick your ass hard, but you will come back to it. You need to play this, not just because this is where it all began - many of the basic ideas, such as contacting, summoning and fusing demons, the Law/Chaos alignment system and even most of the demon designs are still in use in some form today - but because even now, it's unique. The third game in the series, Nocturne (or Lucifer's Call if you prefer) shares some of the same feel, but the tone is arguably more hopeful,as you're looking to rebuild a shattered land. Here, there's no real hope. At best, there's survival, at worst... Shin Megami Tensei is a game with problems, and a couple of outright bugs that can stop you from finishing the game if you're extremely unlucky. But look past that and you'll find one of the darkest RPGs ever, as well as one of the best on the SNES. It's a tremendous work, overshadowed by its descendants, and one that needs to be appreciated as more than a piece of history.

Friday The 13th

1 hour 45 minutes

If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise...

As cheesy as they are, the big horror movies of the 80s have a certain charm to them. Cheesy as hell, outright stupid in places, but still always watchable. The Friday the 13th series, one of the biggest of the time, was arguably more serious than the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise - well, to begin with, at least - but it still had some moments of dumb fun before becoming outright silly in its final instalment, the downright hilarious Jason X. It's probably worth mentioning that that was also my favourite entry in the series, a film comparable to Army of Darkness in terms of genre switch and sheer excellence. Since 'reboots' are the marketing buzzword of the week, it was only a matter of time before someone decided to do a more serious remake. The results are, predictably, less than great.

You all know the story: Jason Voorhees goes ballistic against a bunch of retarded horny teenagers. The film opens with a replay of the end of the first original film in the series, before skipping forward some years later. A group of teenagers are looking for the ultimate weed patch while on a camping trip. Within the space of the first 20 minutes, they're all butchered mercilessly. We're then introduced to a new bunch of teens, going to a plush woodland cabin for the weekend. Unfortunately, these guys last slightly longer, everyone resisting the temptation to off a new conveyor belt of idiots every 20 minutes.

(Incidentally, why hasn't anyone done this in a movie yet? It'd be hilarious!)

This being a remake, there's a slightly different take on the original concept: the idea of Jason going apeshit at a summer camp has been dropped, in favour of a more typical 'house siege/running around the woods'-style story. Rather than the slaughter being spaced out evenly throughout the film, there's one big blood orgy at the start, then pretty much nothing for about the next hour before the murders begin again in earnest. That wouldn't be such a bad thing if the rest of the cast were even remotely likeable, but I haven't wanted to see a bunch of idiot teens get ripped apart so badly since high school. There's one guy, a stoner, who's halfway cool, but, of course, he dies horribly. Jared Padalecki is probably the only person you're likely to recognise, playing Clay, a guy looking for his sister, who was part of the group killed at the start. He's also the only remotely sympathetic guy in the bunch, only emphasized by the fact that he's pitted opposite Travis Van Winkle, playing, as Sir Laurence Olivier would put it, 'a gigantic douche of no singular redeeming value'. Kudos to the guy for playing such an utterly convincing dick, but he doesn't even get an interesting death, which highlights the other major problem of the film.

Let's face it, you all watch these films for the same reasons: you want to see idiot people dying in fun and interesting ways. There's no shame in it, that's the primary draw of them, after all. But no, this is a Serious Reboot for Serious People. Can't be having any of those wacky shenanigans here! So everyone gets offed in a variety of incredibly samey ways, every last one involving impalement or stabbing in some way or another. If you were one of those boring types who has to write a lengthy thesis or two on phallic imagery in modern cinematic blah de blah, you'd probably have a field day with this one. Me? I'll be sitting over here, bored out my mind. And I still won't be finding the film much more entertaining.

If there's one thing the movie does right, it's that there's none of those knowing winks to camera. There's a couple of musical cues that you might recognise, but other than that, it's entirely fanservice free (if you don't count the mandatory boobs, of course - this is the Extended Edition, after all). But really, I can't remember the last time I saw a more boring movie, and that's the last thing you want to say about any horror film. It counts double when you take into account that it's based on a series that's still popular nearly 30 years on. I don't ask for much in my horror movies: I don't mind if they don't scare me, I don't care if the effects look atrocious, but if they're not entertaining, that's an immediate fail right there, and Friday the 13th falls hard at that hurdle. Stick with the originals, kids, this isn't worth your time.

Armour Hunter Mellowlink

12 30-minute episodes

Every so often, you encounter one of those forgotten series. An old show that's good, but for some reason, never caught on as well as others. You say the name 'Dragonball' or 'Sailor Moon' or 'Doraemon' and there's a good chance that even non-anime fans will at least be familiar with it. Then you have the Guyvers, the Mazinger Zs, the shows that have a decent-sized fanbase, but no recognition outside. And then you get to the Moldivers and the Gal Forces and the Sol Biancas and for all their quality, you might as well just give up there and then. Ain't no way anyone other than you has heard of those ones. Filed alongside these unremembered shows is Armor Hunter Mellowlink, and if there was any justice in this world, it too would be considered one of the greats.

The story centres on Mellowlink Aliti, last surviving member of his platoon. His unit sacrificed for unknown reasons, sold out by corrupt officials and blamed for their deaths, as well as a whole bunch of other miscellanious crimes they had kicking around the office, Mellowlink is out for revenge on his former superior officers. Armed only with the outdated anti-mech rifle he was issued for that disastrous last mission, a weapon easily as tall as he is, Mellowlink is determined to make every last one pay for his comrade's deaths, starting from the bottom of the pile up.

The show's a spin-off of Armoured Trooper Votoms, a much larger series that, admittedly, I've yet to see. But while the larger details, like who the players are in the frequently-mentioned war are, are probably meaningless to anyone unfamiliar with the parent show, the story itself is easy to follow. Its your typical revenge story, but with giant robots, which makes it that much more interesting (giant robots make everything better, just try and deny it). Okay. slight exaggeration, but the giant robots are surprisingly more than a way of spinning money through toy and model kit sales. One of the interesting things about the show is that, for all the mechs - Armoured Troopers, or ATs - running around, Mellowlink never once uses one. It's suggested that he's part of an anti-AT squad, hence the gigantic gun and title. So, here you have a regular human, running around capping mecha 4-5 times his size. It's amazing that it's an ideat not utilized more often, since the fight scenes are nothing short of gripping. Seeing a single unarmed squishy human making sport of a squad of heavily armed and armoured combat suits is a sight to behold. It's a shame that most shows tend to lean more toward the 'unstoppable behemoth' end of things, since it's also a sight I'd love to see more often.

The other great thing about the show: the entire thing remains almost 98% bullshit deus ex machina-free. Okay, there's one or two moments where Mellowlink gets exceedingly lucky, but the entire rest of the time it's due solely to planning and skill. See your opponent dodge a certain way to avoid a booby trap? Set up another to catch him off-guard mid-dodge. Your opponent has a certain victory pose before killing an unarmoured opponent? Counter the pose and strike while he's defenceless. Potential love interest demanding to join you in a fight where she'll almost certainly be a liability? Wait for the obligatory 'staring into each other's eyes' moment, then slug her in the gut, rendering her unconscious - and therefore safe - the entire fight. It's a refreshing change to see a character win by fighting smart, rather than overpowering their opponent and just plowing through them. And the fact that, with hindsight, you can see how he's planned all this in advance - a throwaway comment about a car jack is responsible for one of the most satisfying reveals in the show - makes it that much sweeter. Something I'd argue we need to see more of these days.

Mellowlink is a gem of a series. The show was made in the late-90s, so for anyone more familiar with the more polished animation of recent years, it'll come as a complete culture shock. But the roughness of the art and animation just gives it a real charm you don't see too often these days. Mellowlink is an excellent series, and a welcome change for anyone sick of power levels or giant robots designed as toys first and foremost.

Hideaki Sena - Parasite Eve

320 pages

I want to be your parasite god, so I can show you what you really are

Okay, time to make everyone really paranoid for a second. In an average day, out of all the actions you take, how many can you say for certain are actually yours? That sudden urge to get something to eat, to go into a shop, to call someone. Are you entirely sure it's all you? Can you say with absolute certainty that everything you say and do is all your own decision? Or is there something urging you to take certain decisions on occasion? A little voice, a tug, an instinct making you think that this idea would be better?

Are you sure that you are really you?

If you're familiar with Parasite Eve, it'll more than likely be with the PS1 game series. Released in 1998, it was described as the first 'survival horror RPG', and while fun, it was a seriously flawed game. I've actually been playing it myself recently, and finding myself getting frustrated with the awkward pre-rendered environments, a kink that would be worked out in its spiritual successor, Vagrant Story. But this is a review of the original book, not the games, so let's forget about them for a moment.

If you've played the first game, you'll already have some idea of how it all begins. The story focusses on Toshiaki Nagashima, a scientist working in the field of biological research. After his wife is rendered braindead in a car accident, Toshiaki arranges for her organs to be donated. However, he feels compelled to harvest some of her liver cells for experimentation. However, it's soon revealed that the accident was no accident, and what caused it is looking to expand its empire.

Okay, I'll be the first to admit that the central concept is a goofy one - "Oh noes, my cells are evil and have turned against me" is, at first glance, kinda dumb. But think about it: an unseen enemy, forcing you to do its bidding and you won't be aware of it until it's too late? terrifying if done right. And here, a few translation flubs aside, it's done remarkably so. The first half is very dry. The writer, Hideaki Sena, has a background in medicine, and it shows, large swathes of text being used to discuss medical procedures or experiments in mind-numbing detail. It's medical porn, plain and simple. More than once you'll find your eyes sliding down the page as the steps of an experiment are run through in depth. It's authentic, sure, but doesn't make for the most exciting reading. Once the primary villain makes Her presence felt, things start getting much better, with the final third being a desperate race to stop Eve, as she has now named herself, from evolving to the next stage. Again, there's a tendency to go indepth into the the genetics and biology, when you want the writer to concentrate on the big gloopy superbeing that can set people on fire, but when it does, it's worth it.

If you're a fan of the games, you'll probably be wondering where all the hideously mutated monsters are. Well, bad news is, there aren't any. This is closer to the Ring/u school of horror - slowly building up til it drops everything on the reader in one big clusterfuck of fire and mutilation. It's hard going at times, and the translation has a number of glaring flaws - upon hearing his wife has been in an accident, Toshiaki groans like he's been asked to do the dishes, for example, and the onomatopoeia chosen for Eve's movements is the none-more-chilling sound 'flap'. Know fear and despair. But still, it's well worth a read, especially if you're familiar with the games. Finding out exactly what that 'incident' in Japan was all about adds a few things to the original, even if it does introduce a plothole to the narrative. Apparently the second printings of the bookfix a lot of the errors, so a first edition, while a nice thing to have, may not be the best thing to get. Either way, worth a look for the curious and the fans.

Silent Hill 0rigins

PSP

Mirrors are more fun than television

Prequels have a very bad reputation. Oh, the intent is fine enough: showing what the world was like in the Before Time, letting us see familiar faces and the events that shaped them, that kind of thing. But all too often, they devolve into brainless fanservice, burying you in an avalanche of knowing winks and sly glances. You can hear them pissing themselves with sheer glee as one character tells another that their brother will never betray them/will be the death of them/could be the greatest of us all, or some other ironic comment, rather than trying to get some actual tragedy or pathos out of the events. And woe betide if you don't have any working knowledge of the original, since you're going to be left wondering every few minutes if you just saw something important. So yes, to your average viewer, prequels are never a good idea.

Silent Hill 0rigins is a prequel to the original Silent Hill. It's also, not very good, though in its defence, that's not entirely the fault of its status as a prequel. Give it its due, it sucks on its own merits.


Okay, fair word of warning here: I love the SH series. It redefined the then-burgeoning survival horror genre beyond all recognition upon its release ten years ago. The other main front-runner in the genre, Resident Evil went for traditional shocks, showing you things you were more than likely already scared of, but bigger (a spider the size of your thumbnail is not scary - a spider the size of a van, on the other hand...). It was classic Hollywood jumpscares, and looking back, frankly, they're laughable. I played the first game again recently: even with the most infamous scares, like the dog window (you know the one I mean) there was barely even a twitch. Going back to the first Silent Hill, on the other hand, you realise that, regardless of the fact that the graphics have aged badly over the last decade, it's still scary. Play it on a PSP with the lights out and headphones on and watch your complacent smugness fly out the window as you're scared shitless by a so-called 'old' game. The second set the benchmark for storytelling, not just for survival horror games, but arguably for gaming in general, knowing exactly how much to say and how much to merely hint at, leaving many of the finer details for the player to work out for themselves. The third simply had the unfortunate luck to come after the second, being an underrated but still good sequel to the first, and the fourth tried to do something new, but failed in the attempt.

There was no fifth Silent Hill game. This isn't the flauros you're looking for, move along.

The deck was stacked against 0rigins from the start really. Of the original Team Silent, only Akira Yamaoka, was to be involved, and, outside of the music department, he had been relegated to 'creative consultant' or something equally vague. The game itself was being handled by Climax Studios, better know for such games as Battlezone: Rise of the Black Dogs and Disney's Lilo & Stitch 2: Hamsterveil Havoc. But fear not, they claimed they were big fans of the series and wanted to do it justice. They knew their shit, and they were itching to prove all the naysayers wrong. All they needed was a chance to prove themselves.

SH0 is set about seven or so years before the original. While on a job near the town of Silent Hill, Travis Grady, a trucker, nearly hits a figure on a quiet road. Trying to find out where the person went, he goes for a wander in the countryside and eventually stumbles across a burning house. He rescues a girl from being burned to a crisp (well, more of a crisp by this point) and gets back outside. And that's the point where the story pretty much collapses on itself.

Don't get me wrong, there is a story here, and it's an okay one, except for two details. First off, it's a prequel, yet Grady's involvement with the larger plot is almost non-existent. He runs into most of the major cast, but doesn't have any real impact on them or their goals. He unwittingly assembles an important McGuffin one Harry Mason would later find somewhat helpful, but you can hardly say he plays any major role, or makes any amazing revelations about anything we already know. Well, that's not true, the game clarifies one minor fan theory about the relationship between Lisa Garland and Dr. Kauffman. SWEET SAMAEL IN THE OTHERWORLD, EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG!!! Is your mind shattered? I know mine is.

Trav's story, on the other hand, involves a trip he took as a lad with his parents, when his mother got herself committed to an insane asylum after she tried to kill him. Yup, turns out he has a Dark and Twisted Past with the town, and it's keeping him here because... well, see, that's the other problem with the game. It all falls apart when you realise there's literally nothing keeping him in this town. His primary reason at the start is to find out what happened to the girl he rescued. Fair enough, I can respect that after saving someone, you'd want to at least know if they're dead or not, right? But once he confirms that, and the town's started doing its spooky shit (more on that in a bit) he's determined to stick around for no goddamn reason.

Let's take a moment and compare the motivations of the heroes of the games, shall we?

Silent Hill: "I'm not leaving this town until I find out what happened to my daughter."
Silent Hill 2: "I'm not leaving this town until I find out who sent me that letter and what happened to my dead (?) wife."
Silent Hill 3: "Stay in this town? Me?! Fuck that, yo, I'm getting the hell out of here!"
Silent Hill 4: "I'm only here so I can get out of my fucking flat, I don't even want to be here!"
Silent Hill 0: "I'm not leaving because someone keeps leaving me vague clues about where to go next and it really annoys me when people do that!"

Clearly, Travis is a man driven by an OCD urge to punish people who mildly annoy him. That, or he has a fetish for being led about by the nose everywhere. Worthy and admirable traits for any hero to possess. Sorry, did I say 'hero'? Darn, I meant to say 'easily manipulated fuckwit'. I always get those two confused.

Okay, okay, we've played games with flimsier plots and dumber heroes. None that can top this are springing to might right this very second, but I'm sure there was at least one. Besides, it doesn't matter as long as the gameplay's up to snuff, right? Resident Evil's storyline had dozens of incidents and plot details carved from finest whatthefuckium, and people still enjoyed them.

Would it surprise anyone to learn the gameplay's not up to scratch? Didn't think so.

Take a look at this map here:



Big, innit. That's the second major stage. Not the last, the second. Actually that's one floor of the second major stage. There's another floor above that, and a basement as well. And, thanks to the game's reality-shifting mechanic (you can move into the famed Otherworld at will simply by going up to a mirror), there's two versions of it, so that's a grand total of six floors you have to wander about! Okay, yes, most of the rooms suffer from the classic "The door is stuck/locked/actually painted onto the wall itself" thing, but seriously, look how many of the fucking things there are! And it's not like things logically lead from A to B with a small sidetrip to C, D and E, oh no, everything is placed at opposite ends of the map from each other, resulting in lengthy journeys all over the place. There's a costume to be unlocked if you complete the game in under two hours, and another for looking at the map less than 25 times. Frankly, both of those are bullshit: the asylum takes about two hours by itself, and it's stupidly easy to get lost or forget where you're going without outside help. I don't mind backtracking as much as others, but done to this degree, it's padding, plain and simple.

One of the biggest bugbears I have with this game is with the combat. Okay, Climax, buddy, I know you probably thought it was a good idea, but on behalf of everyone who played this game, DESTRUCTIBLE WEAPONS ARE NEVER A FUN GAMEPLAY MECHANIC! Lowering the durability/effectiveness of a weapon? Well, that's just about forgiveable, as long as you're not reduced to poking away at a tumorous mass the size of Godzilla with a wet teabag. But weapons that break outright is not on. Really, it didn't work in the last game, and it sure as hell didn't work here. And when that's coupled with a weapon quick-select that's anything but, you're looking at a lot of very unhappy gamers, especially since, when they break, you're automatically forced to go back to the basic 1-2 punch combo, that does bugger all damage. It's a horrible idea, and a terrible design choice that makes you wonder what the fuck they were thinking. And don't think gunplay's going to be much better, because that's just as fucked up. Shooting foes is all well and good, but then you've got to finish them off when you drop them. And shooting them again while they're down is spotty at best, so you run up to finish them. Except, you've got about three seconds to do that before they get back up again, and the game's mighty picky about letting you finish a downed enemy. So they get back up again, and you take a whole lot of damage from them and you vow never to fight another foe again. But that's not that difficult, really, since the moment you put the lights off, you're amazingly invisible to all! And since the stages are reasonably bright, you almost never need to have your flashlight on at all. Y'see, this is another thing you should be aware of, Climax: we avoid combat in survival horror games because we;re scared of it, afraid of going into battle unprepared, lest we get our shit royally fucked up. We do not avoid combat because it's badly done and because, overall, it's infinitely easier to just sidestep anything that confused its insides with its outsides.

And another thing, Mr. Climax (why does that sound like a pornstar name?): your choices of weaponry. My suspension of disbelief is a mighty thing to behold. If you could hook it up and use it as a power source, mankind could travel to the stars. You tell me something works in a show because it does, I'll buy it. Tell me those vials over there contain a virus that transforms some people into plain old zombies, but others into freakishly deformed abominations? Fair enough. Walk over first aid kits or magical glowy things to be cured of all that ails you? Not a problem. People can survive any number of explosive magical or physical attacks in battle, but the second we move to a cutscene, a simple prison shiv can end the live of even the biggest badass? Sucks because he was my favourite, but yeah, alright. So while I can get behind Generic Effeminate RPG Hero #712 being able to carry several million tonnes of equipment and supplies on his girlish form (but only ever up to a stack of 99 per item), something about its usage here pisses me right off. I mean, giving you tons of weapons like straight razors, screwdrivers, okay, they're small and easily concealable. Sledgehammers, meathooks and pointy bits of wood? Bigger, but still well within acceptable limits. How about IV drip stands and lamps taller than the character himself? How about large gallon jugs of medicinal alcohol? How about filing cabinets, typewriters and portible TVs - often a dozen or so at a time? That's the point where you start calling bullshit on the whole endeavour. You can get away with it in an RPG, because, by and large, you can say they've got advanced/ancient technology, or an airship or, fuck, magic or something. But this gets to the point of stupidity, then decides, "screw that, we can go further!" with a rousing 'hurp, durp, fight the power!' as its battlecry. The only reason I can think of for any of this is to make some of their other ideas, like the QTE attacks, for example, look like glorious successes by comparison.

Perhaps the biggest sin committed, however, is to the series itself. Climax claim they know their shit. I claim otherwise. Now, I'll admit, I'm one of those freakish people who reads and studies things I'm interested in at great length. You ask me about any of the symbolism or plot elements in the first few games, there's a better than average chance I can give you a fairly good explanation of why X = Y. And I'm not the only one. Even the most casual Silent Hill fan knows that the series is heavy in symbolism and meaning. It's one of the cornerstones of the games, and probably one of the best things about it. And yet here, Climax have managed to do something amazing: they've managed to take all this symbolism and allegory... and miss the point entirely. One of the main references for the game is most obviously, Silent Hill 2. The opening - a character walking through a long, lonely stretch of deserted road - is taken almost verbatim from the earlier game. Travis is also a poor man's James Sunderland, a self-deluding type with some vaguely sexual hangups if you squint a bit and tilt your head to the side, kinda. But you can't force genius, and while everything came together right for SH2, they're trying too hard to force it here, and it just rings hollow and artificial instead. They're aping things with seemingly no understanding of why they're doing it. Why is there a long walk through the fog from the start of the game? Because it was in SH2. Why are there holes that you have to jump into to progress towards the end? Because they were in SH2. Why is there a big scary man in an apron with a big sharp slicey thing that looks like everyone's 1d4-headed monster violator? Why the hell do you think? There are, in fairness, a few big nods to the movie, but SH0 wants to be the second game so badly, it's almost hilarious.

Are there any redeeming points to this game? Well, the music's good, but coming from Akira Yamaoka, you'd expect that. But even here it seems half-hearted. There's nothing on a par with You're Not Here, Theme of Laura or even Room of Angel or Hometown. There's a couple of nice ambient pieces, but otherwise, the soundtrack's mostly forgettable. But the fact that 'forgettable soundtrack' is probably the thing the game does best least wrong alone should give you some idea of the thing as a whole.

Silent Hill 0rigins is a game that somehow manages to annoy me on three levels: as a Silent Hill fan; as a survival horror fan; and lastly, as a gamer in general. If it seems like I'm being a horribly nitpicky retard fanboy just because it's not done by my beloved Team Silent, trust me, I'm not. Frankly, I wouldn't really care who was responsible for it if the end result was any good. This is a bad game, plain and simple. The combat is terrible, the enemy designs amount to big chunks of meat with no real defining characteristics (and they have the cheek to reuse some of them - only bigger!), the final boss is Diablo, from the games of the same name and the whole premise the game hinges on - that it's a prequel to the first game - is borderline false advertising. The game's a gigantic con: you think you're about to uncover something interesting, only to find that there's nothing here you didn't already know. It's like two slices of prime Kobe beef steak glued onto either end of a cut of discount meat from a cheap butchers - literally, since the majority of the non-Travis related plot occurs at the start and the end of the game. Silent Hill 0rigins is a hideously misaimed game with none of the atmosphere or dread we've come to expect from the series, and an outright insult to anyone with any love for the series, or the genre in general. Avoid.